


So I lay Before You

by witchy_alien



Series: wasn't that your heart? [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 06:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13001382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchy_alien/pseuds/witchy_alien
Summary: Yuri tries to forgive Otabek for leaving him after their drunken one night stand.





	So I lay Before You

**Author's Note:**

> [Inspired](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJli9bjv2YI&index=4&list=RDEMBIz5m-94ODdOEHx8t-7ndw)

Yuri was pacing around his room. Yuri had spent the past few days video chatting with Otabek and soon everything would change. Otabek was to arrive at any minute now and it was making him a nervous wreck. Otabek would be in the flesh! Yuri locked himself in his room after lunch. At one point he heard Victor ready to knock on his door before Katsuki stopped him. They whispered a bunch of stuff Yuri didn’t bother to listen in on before finally leaving. 

Yuri was an absolute mess. He smelled himself and realized he hadn’t showered in a good two days. He grabbed a change of clothes and walked to the hot springs. By the time he had finished he ended up in the dining hall, pacing. Katsuki’s family watched him with worried stares. 

“I found this at our door,” Katsuki’s voice called from the entrance. 

Yuri rushed over and paused at the door. 

“Can we keep him?” Victor asked, excited. 

Yuri stared up at Otabek who awkwardly shifted in his socked feet at the doorway. His luggage was in tow, Otabek looked as though he was about to face a boss battle. His face was prepared for the worst as he watched Yuri. Yuri in return bit his lip to hold back the tears that were waiting to escape. He ran towards Otabek, latching onto his neck and wrapping his legs around his torso. Otabek stumbled backwards before accepting the embrace. 

“Hey,” He whispered in Yuri’s ear. 

They stood like that for a while before Yuri realized where he was. He jumped down and smiled up at Otabek. 

“You came,” He looked to his feet suddenly feeling embarrassed. 

“Of course I did,” Otabek smiled at him. 

“I think he would like to be shown his room,” Victor hummed next to them. 

Yuri glared at him, “Of course,” he snarled. 

Yuri showed him the entire onsen. He walked him through and helped unpack some of his things as they talked about Otabek’s flight. It was nice having him so close. It was nice talking to him after so long. Yuri felt himself leaning in a bit closer as he walked through the room. 

“This is where I’m staying,” Yuri opened his door. It was closer to Katsuki and Victor’s room. Away from everyone but still a guest room. 

“The beds aren’t big here,” Yuri didn’t know what he was saying all of a sudden. His nervous tongue got the better of him. 

Otabek only nodded and walked through his room. He sat on his bed and held his arms out, “This is what you wanted, right?”

Yuri stood in front of him trying to register the moment. He slowly stepped into his arms, in between his legs. Yuri allowed himself to be consumed by Otabek. He leaned in to kiss him, lips a comfort in all of this. His racing heart could be heard in his ears as he slipped his tongue into Otabek’s mouth. He could feel Otabek rub his hands down his spine. The tingling sensation ran up to the back of his neck. Yuri couldn’t help but to smile into the kiss. 

As they pulled away Otabek mumbled against his lips. 

Yuri scrunched his eyebrows, silently asking Otabek what he said. Feeling himself bristle with anger and embarrassment, a terrible combo. 

“We need to talk,” Otabek repeated. 

Yuri relaxed and leaned in to kiss Otabek again, “We are talking.” 

Otabek turned away from his kiss, “I’m serious.” 

“Serious enough to fly all the way to Japan.” 

Otabek looked up at him and Yuri shut his mouth. Oh, and there was that uncomfortable nervous wreck feeling he was trying to push down earlier. Back like a quick punch to the face to make Yuri feel like crap. 

“Yuri,” Otabek licked his lips, “I care about you.” His hands tightened around Yuri’s waist, “I like you. I don’t want to screw this up.” 

Yuri laughed before he could stop himself, “I think we already did that.” He watched the way Otabek bit his lip, peeling away the skin. He leaned down to kiss him. “I like you too,” Yuri felt vulnerable. He didn’t know how Otabek was able to say it so easy. “How about you rest and in the morning we go out.” 

Otabek nodded, yawning. Yuri kissed him again before tucking him into bed. He didn’t care if he had little to no room to sleep in tonight. He was just relieved Otabek had fallen asleep so easily. 

Yuri walked around the property for a bit. He bumped into Victor who was on his way to take a bath. Yuri decided to join him, hoping it would clear his head. 

Once soaking they sat in silence. It was getting late and visitors were headed for bed. The inn had been extra quiet and relaxing. Yuri yawned and stared at Victor. 

Victor rolled his head back, relaxing in the water. The steam made Yuri’s head fog and he felt himself grow tired. 

“Don’t pass out now,” Victor laughed at Yuri. 

Yuri practically growled at him, “I’m fine.” 

“How’s Otabek?” 

“Asleep.” He answered too quickly. 

Victor was silent for a moment before asking, “And you?”

Yuri grinded his teeth together, “Fine.” 

Victor clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Honestly, Yuri, I’m expecting a lot more than fine. You tell Yuuri everything but not me?” He scooted closer, “I’m here for you too.” 

Yuri sighed, “I just don’t get it.” He groaned, splashing water onto his face, “He shows up and confesses after treating me like garbage after we screwed! Who does that? Why did he,” Yuri paused feeling his throat close as tears threatened to break free, “What does he see in me?” 

Victor paused and after a moment Yuri thought he had decided to end the conversation. They sat in silence and Yuri relaxed in the water. He leaned against the rocks and closed his eyes. 

“Do you love him?” 

Yuri opened his eyes and glared at the night sky, “I don't know.” 

Victor stood up and wrapped his towel around his waist, “Well, I'm sure he doesn't know either. Just don’t forget we are here for you both.” He hummed his way out of the springs. 

Yuri sat for a minute longer before letting out a frustrated roar of a scream. A lone patron in the bath jumped at his outburst, but Yuri ignored him. He stomped his way back to his room. Yuri remembered Otabek sleeping in his bed and couldn't open the door.

He found himself in the Katsuki dining area sitting with Yuuri’s sister and dance instructor watching TV. He felt himself drifting off to the soft hum of the news. He understood some Japanese but when he was tired it was just a chore, so he let his mind drift off. He let his mind try and be the one to figure it out, as Victor said. But all that made him was angry and did not help him figure anything out. 

“Are you okay?” Minako asked and Yuri nodded at her. 

Used to his quiet, she turned her head back to the TV.

Yuri brooded for a bit before finally heading back to his room. He took a deep breath in and opened his door. Otabek was still asleep, spread out on his bed. He snored away as if Yuri didn’t need to sleep there at all. Yuri crawled into bed and tried scooting as far away as possible from Otabek. 

A few hours into it Yuri cursed under his breath. This was a terrible idea. All of it was just awful. He rolled out of bed and found himself wandering the now empty halls of the inn. The quiet was eerie in the dead of the night. He found himself tripping and stubbing his toe on the corner of the hallway frame. He slid open the door that led to the back and was surprised to find Yuuri sitting, looking up at the stars. 

Yuuri turned to look at him, eyes wide and looking a little more than frazzled, “Oh, it’s just you.”

Yuri closed the door behind him, but refused to sit down, “Just me?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Katsudon waved his arms up in defeat. He dropped them and went back to looking at the stars, “Just wasn’t expecting you.” 

“Trouble in paradise?” Yuri teased. 

Yuuri didn’t turn away from the stars, “Sometimes I can’t sleep at night.”

Yuri knew what he was talking about. The constant nagging in the back of his mind, the insistent pounding of his own heart, everything irritating him when he was trying to get comfortable. He knew that he too shared the same disheveled look as Yuuri right now. 

Yuuri patted the spot next to him. Yuri grumbled swears under his breath but sat down next to him. Together, they watched the clouds roll over the moon in silence. Yuri wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he was thankful that Katsuki had not spoken to him. 

Yuri felt himself, his body, grow tired. It was relaxing but still not enough to make Yuri feel comfortable. He let out a frustrated groan. 

Yuuri jumped and stared at him through his lensed covered eyes. 

Gritting his teeth together so hard it made his jaw hurt, Yuri grunted out a, “What?” 

Katsuki only smiled at him in the way that he smiled at dogs, or his fans. It was sweet and hid something that Yuri could never uncover. “Are you regretting allowing Otabek to stay here?”

“You talked to Victor already,” Yuri closed his eyes. 

“He only told me he talked to you,” Yuri could hear him smiling, covering up the hint of a laugh, “he never said what it was about.”

“What do you think, Katsuki?” 

“I think I’m right. And I’m sure you just need to talk to him. We saw how you were when you saw him,” Yuuri paused and turned back to looking at the night sky, “I know it’s scary, trust me on that. It's absolutely terrifying putting all of your trust into one person. And some days you will wonder if they are happy, or if you make them happy. And you do.” Yuuri looked down to his lap, “It's still scary. But it’s worth it.” 

The back door slid open behind them. Victor yawned and sat on the other side of his Katsuki, “Found you.” Yuri looked away as they kissed. 

“Couldn't sleep?” Victor looked up at Yuri over Katsuki’s shoulder. 

Yuri stood up, “I'll manage.”

Yuuri jumped up, shocking both Victor and Yuri. “We are here for you,” He pulled Yuri into a hug. 

Yuri blamed his exhaustion for hugging him back. 

Making it back to the room he current he shared with Otabek, Yuri threw a pillow and blanket on the floor next to him. He closed his eyes and finally got some sleep. 

His alarm went off way too soon. Otabek was nowhere to be found. Yuri lazily walked through the inn, still quiet in the early morning. Otabek was sitting with Yuuri’s mom eating breakfast. They were speaking quietly amongst themselves. Otabek noticed Yuri walking in a smiled up at him. 

Yuuri’s mother excused herself and went into the kitchen. Yuri stood and debated on whether or not to sit down before Otabek patted the spot next to him. Yuri chose the seat across from him instead. 

“Yuri,” Otabek began.

It was too early to talk so Yuri settled on glaring at Otabek.

Otabek seemed to understand and quietly finished his soup. 

Victor and Yuuri joined them shortly after and they ate together. Most of the conversation was from the couple and it only annoyed Yuru more. He couldn’t eat the delicious prepared breakfast and that only made him angrier. He stood up without finishing his meal, ignoring the protests from Yuuri and Victor. 

He marched into his room and glared at the bed in front of him. It was still messy from Otabek sleeping in it. He must have been too angry to realize that Otabek had followed him to the room and jumped when he touched his shoulder. 

“Yuri,” Otabek tried again. 

Yuri crossed his arms and sat down on the bed. It looked like they were going to have their talk now. 

“Look I,” Otabek played with his hands, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Yuri was more bark than bite at this point. He was exhausted from his restless night and just wanted to go back to sleep. 

Otabek stared at the open spot next to Yuri. Yuri scooted to the edge to allow him to sit down next to him. They both kept their distance as Otabek continued, “I’m sorry for being an ass.” 

Yuri rolled his eyes and tried not to sound as annoyed as he was, “No shit.”

Otabek threw up his arms, “Dammit, Yuri, you don’t get to be the only one mad about this.” 

Yuri stood up, his face was red and he could feel tears brewing behind his eyes, “I can be mad if I want to.” He tried to control his voice, but he could hear he was yelling. 

Otabek blew air out of his nose, “So can I! I fucked things up,” he steadied his voice, “this wasn’t how I wanted to confess.” 

That was it. Yuri realized that was why Otabek was acting so strange. All of a sudden it made sense, “You regret it.” 

Otabek looked surprise. He opened his mouth to speak. 

The tears couldn’t stop themselves from falling from Yuri’s eyes, “You regret it! Why did you do it then?” He choked and knew he barely made any sense at this point, “Did you even want to do that? Why did you,” he swallowed the excess saliva building up in his mouth. Yuri wanted to vomit, “Why did you leave me?”

Otabek looked scared. He opened his mouth and snapped it shut, unable to talk. Yuri rubbed his eyes and ran out of the room. 

He pulled on his shoes, tears continuing to fall and ran out of the inn. He could hear Yuuri talking to him but couldn’t process the words. He just knew he had to go clear his head and went to the only place he knew he could. 

Yuuko was barely opening the rink for the day, yawning as she waved at Yuri. She noticed his red, puffy eyes and brought him into a hug that he accepted. 

“No one will be here until ten,” She reassured as she let him use a pair of skates without purchase. 

He thanked her a got onto the ice. He warmed up in a rush and knew he would regret it later. But he had to skate. He had to push himself until he stopped feeling everything he was feeling. Stupid Otabek, stupid him for being so dumb. So trusting. 

He tired himself out and spent hours on the ice. 

“Come take a break,” Victor yelled from the sides. He waved Yuri’s water bottle in the air and Yuri slowly made his way off of the ice. 

He sat down and drank the water. Victor was oddly quiet and smiled at him, eyes watching him carefully. 

“You worried us,” Victor began. 

Yuri wasn’t feeling up for any more arguments, “Sorry.”

Victor looked just as shocked as Yuri felt. The apology had slipped out so easily. 

Yuri stood up and they both decided it was best to call it a day. The walk back wasn’t quiet. Yuri welcomed the conversation Victor made. He kept off the topic of Otabek. Instead focusing on funny stories Yuri already heard. 

They made it back by lunch, but Yuri retreated to his room. He opened his laptop and booked plane tickets back home and emailed Yakov about the information. He overstayed and wanted to go back to Russia. He would tell everyone at dinner, he decided. 

He let sleep take over him and woke up to a knock at his door. 

Yuuri was on the other side with a tray in his hands. Yuri thanked him and invited him into his room. Yuri sat down and ate the warm meal, forcing most of it down. Even though he had cried most of the morning he still felt tears roll out as he ate. 

He was thankful Katsudon didn’t comment on it. He only sat next to Yuri, making one-sided conversation. Laughter bubbled out of Yuri and soon he found the tears had dried up as fast as they came. A knock at the door made them both look to it. And when it opened, Otabek was on the other side. 

Yuuri grabbed the tray of dishes and excused himself from the room. Leaving Otabek alone with Yuri in the room. 

Otabek rubbed the back of his neck as he shut the door. 

“Maybe we should,” Yuri began. He paused, unsure of where to finish. End this? What was it they had started that needed ending?

Otabek attempted a smile, “You still owe me that day out.”

Yuri blinked up at him, “It’s already night time. There isn’t much besides the beach in this town.”

Nodding, Otabek opened the door. He turned back to Yuri with a silent invite in his eyes. Yuri moved without thinking. He followed behind him, noticing the pair of eyes that followed them. Yuri waved to Victor as he passed in the hallway. 

They walked and Otabek turned to Yuri, “I’m sorry. I’m bad with direction.” He ushered Yuri to move in front of him to lead the way. 

They walked in silence. It was Yuri’s usual path when he ran so he found it easily. The moon was already high in the sky lighting their way. Yuri slipped out of his shoes and socks as he walked onto the sand. Otabek followed his lead. They walked to the ocean, the tide touching their knees.

They stayed silent for a long while. Yuri was the first to break the silence, “Have you been to Japan?”

Otabek nodded. He looked out into the sea. Yuri’s eyes followed his to the nothingness. 

“Tokyo isn’t like this,” Yuri pulled his hair up into a ponytail, “I like it here.” 

“The ocean has always scared me,” Otabek settled on. His voice was a low rumble. 

“Are you,” Yuri turned his attention to Otabek, “okay?” 

Otabek smiled but it did not reach his eyes, “No.” 

And Yuri didn’t know when he became so caught up in his head that he ignored that. Otabek hadn’t been fine for a long while. He was so focused on Otabek’s face that he didn’t notice Otabek’s hands. 

A splash of water hit Yuri’s face. Otabek grinned at Yuri. It was a smile Yuri had only seen whenever Otabek won gold. 

Yuri splashed water back at Otabek. Soon they found themselves pushing the other underwater. Yuri ended up on top of Otabek, both had their clothes soaked through completely. Otabek was panting and looking up into Yuri’s eyes. The water flowed against their waists, and if Otabek didn’t have a strong grip on Yuri’s hips he would have been knocked over. 

Yuri leaned down and placed a hesitant kiss on Otabek’s lips. Otabek kissed him back, sliding his hand up into his hair. He gripped the back of Yuri’s head and pulled him closer. Yuri smiled into the kiss before being knocked over by a strong wave. 

They both made it away from the tide, laughing, still clinging onto one another. They held onto each other, kissing furiously. Yuri could feel sand digging into his skin, seeping under his clothes. Otabek kissed Yuri’s face and stood up. He held his hand out to Yuri. Yuri took it and smiled.

Together, they walked hand in hand in the quiet of the night. Otabek filled the air with his apology. 

“I have liked you for a long time, Yuri.” Otabek’s thumb brushed against Yuri’s, “I didn’t mean to ignore you for so long. I was mad at myself for being so dumb.” 

Yuri stopped him with a kiss on his cheek, “We both were dumb.” 

“I made you feel so terrible,” Otabek watched their feet walking in unison. “I love you, Yuri, I wouldn’t want you to-”

Yuri cut him off with a kiss. Standing on his toes, Yuri smiled, “I love you too.” 

They walked through the now quiet inn. “We should take it slow,” Otabek said as Yuri led him back into their shared room. But he did not stop himself from kissing him. Nor did it stop him from letting Yuri sit into his lap. 

Yuri moaned into his mouth. He still felt the gritty texture of the sand against his skin so he took off his shirt. Otabek’s hands slid around his waist. Yuri fiddled with his belt buckle, unzipping his pants. 

Yuri looked into Otabek’s eyes, asking him for permission. When Otabek kissed him again Yuri reached into his pants. Otabek shoved his face into Yuri’s neck. He kissed and bit down as Yuri jerked him off. Otabek played with Yuri’s pants zipper. Yuri helped him and unzipped himself. He sighed into Otabek’s mouth as he felt his hand against his member. 

It was stuff they already did, but not like this. Yuri felt so exposed. 

His fingers tugged at Otabek’s length and he felt him stiffen under him. Otabek’s hand moved faster and he let his head lean forward into Otabek’s hair. Otabek smelled of sweat and the sea and it was all too much for Yuri. He came much faster than Otabek. Right after coming he finished Otabek who sucked onto Yuri’s skin. 

Panting,they both smiled as they kissed. 

“We should clean up,” Otabek whispered. 

Yuri nodded and slid off of him. They both washed up in silence before returning back to bed. 

Otabek laid across from Yuri on the tight fit of the bed. Yuri scooted closer to him and smiled when Otabek didn’t shy away. 

“You hurt me,” Yuri whispered in the dark. 

Otabek’s hands tightened around him, “I know.” 

“I love you a lot,” Yuri continued. He was feeling confident after the orgasm and thanks to the darkness. 

“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you,” Otabek’s breath was warm against his face, “but I do love you.” 

It warmed Yuri to hear. He wrapped his arms tight around Otabek. It wasn’t the perfect confession, but it was his. And he would cherish it. They would probably fight, and Yuri knew he would end up running away sometimes. But it would be worth it. 

To feel these things with Otabek. They were what he wanted. And so he drifted to sleep with Otabek’s arms wrapped protectively around him. A smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> finally!!!! after months. 
> 
> that moment when you have a 6 month break down and can't function. Finally updates after months. omfg. anyway. alien-mind-witch on tumblr. witchy-alien anywhere else? idk.
> 
> love you and thanks for reading!


End file.
